Perils of Penis Measurement (Aka more than you ever wanted to know about my penis)

Guys are obsessed by their size, especially in comparison to others. Or at least it seems that way in the gay community.  You can stop any gay man on the street and ask how big his penis is, and he'll tell you down to the inch.

Unfortunately, it appears that everyone really sucks at measuring.

It's called a tape measure. Use it.

Wacky College Adventures...

I'm decently sure I just spent the past five days in a wacky college comedy or stoner movie as a side character and nobody bothered to tell me they were filming.

Exactly like this, with the Tom Green character being played by Yours Truly.

Remember that short post I made earlier called "Real Life Adventures?" After the jump is basically an expansion of that concept. 

Real Life Adventures

Yesterday, I got back to my dorm from Joe's place at about 1:30 in the afternoon.  My suitemate, Mick. had two of his friends over, Jeff and Avi.  They were old high school friends of his and Jeff had joined the Navy and was shipping off next month, so he and Avi had driven the six hours to get up here for one last hurrah with Mick. There had been a concert last night on campus followed by some raging parties, so the three of them were massively hungover and hungry. Mick's band was playing a concert tonight, so he needed to prepare.

"Dude, Jack, these guys have never been to Hot Stuff BBQ!"
"I've never been there either."
"What?! You need to take them there."

And that's how I was drafted into taking Jeff and Avi to a BBQ place I had never been to (though I knew where it was). We piled into Jeff's car and drove up.

"God, that show was awesome last night! Did you go to it?"
"Nah... I was out last night."
"Oh? Where?"

Poppers and Protection

For those of you who don't know, poppers are any one of a number alkyl nitrates inhaled during sex.  They give you a quick rush to the head, relax your muscles, and fill you with warm sensations.

Also for those of you who don't know, protection refers to condoms.  This is a sex blog, that one should have been obvious.

Yesterday afternoon, I met a guy who, for the purposes of this blog, we'll call Nate.  He was 5'7 or so, and the perfect definition of twink. Boyish, blond hair, tanned (which considering the fact that we're in the icy north, that's an accomplishment), and stunning blue eyes.  I went with my patent pending pick up line "Holy fuck, you're cute. Climb into my bed now."

Because he was a gay guy and, say, not a straight girl, that worked perfectly. Rather than calling the police on me and having me arrested for sexual harassment, he said "I've got class, but I want to soon." We exchanged numbers and he agreed to come over to my dorm after rugby practice.

To read more, follow the jump.

First Time

At 5:00 AM on Friday, December 4, 2009, I sat down at my computer, shaking a bit.
And I began typing:
"Alex just left my room.
Well, most of him did. His cum is still on my chest..."

But before I relate all of the fun adventures that happened that night, I feel some background is necessary.

First off, I didn't want to use any actual pictures of Alex, so I just grabbed some of a porn star who looks kinda like him. Alex looks like this guy, but hotter:

To see more of him and to continue to sample my scintillating writing skills, follow the jump.

Are You Guys Dating?

It was one of the first days of Senior year. Most mornings, we had announcements in the school Commons. Being a normal day, the usual round of announcements were made.   I was sitting in the near corner of the room with my group of friends, joking and chuckling with each other. Students stood up and made announcements. Sports teams had practices, clubs had meetings, all of that random nonsense.  Then our Principal stood up and said:
"Everybody, we have an exchange student this year. Her name is... and correct me if I mispronounce this: Tong Mah-cheng?"
From the far side of the room, a chinese girl stood up and took a step forward.
"It's pronounced 'Tang Mei-xing'"
"Tong Meh-sing?"
"um... close enough"

In my economics class that day, she sat next to me. We exchanged pleasantries, but I had to stop myself from sneaking glances at her all class.

Later in that day, I saw her in the library working on her class schedule. I sat down with her and explained how our school's schedule worked. And then we talked. And kept talking.

And then for the next few months, we kept hanging out with each other, seeing each other in class, eating lunch together.  We were texting each other so much, my mom upgraded my cell phone plan to unlimited monthly texts.

She invited me to her birthday in November. As a birthday present, I bought her tickets to the winter dance.

It was around mid-November when my friends started asking me "Are you guys dating?"

The first few times I heard that, I replied "No, of course not. We're just friends." But after a while, I realized that we might be. After all, I did have feelings for Mei.  Feelings that, because of the incident with Hannah, I kept well hidden. Remembering what happened with Hannah, I didn't dare make the first move.

But after a couple weeks of the "Are you guys dating?" question, I began to reply "If we are six weeks from now, then this is when we probably started, but it's hard to tell."  And so it continued like that until Christmas break.  Over Christmas break, our texts dwindled down to nothing for some reason. Towards the end of break, I got a call from Mei.
"Hello?"
"JACK! I'm so angry at you!"

The Prologue

When I started my freshman year of high school in the Fall of 2005, I was a skinny 14 year old kid who didn't know a single kid at my new school and, unbeknown to me, was about to be hit by a terrible case of acne.

Freshman year, I was the weird kid.  I was nerdy, I always had my nose in a book. I played sports, but they were Cross Country, Swimming, and Track, not sports like soccer or basketball or lacrosse which came with a certain social standing.

But I was happy. I enjoyed my classes, I wasn't too bad at running, and I had a couple friends. But most importantly, I had my first big crush freshman year.  Her name was Hannah* and we shared several classes and mutual friends.  I'd sit with her and some of her friends at lunch. I'd talk with her and her friends between classes.  She had a smile that always made the day seem somewhat warmer.

So, I spent a few weeks debating with myself, and decided, you know what? J. Alfred Prufrock can suck a dick.  I think she likes me, I like her, and you know what, I'll ask her out, and unlike all of these lame guys in high school, I'll ask her out romantically.

So, since it was February and Valentine's Day was coming up, I decided I'd ask her out then, and I'd have chocolate with me. Maybe even compose a song or something.  So, I sat with my friends and told them my plan.

Valentine's Day, 2006, I walked into school bright and early. And taped to my locker was an envelope that said "Hannah."  I opened it.  It was a letter from Hannah, saying in no uncertain terms, that she had no romantic interest in me whatsoever and to please not ask her out, or even try to spend time with her. I showed it to a mutual friend who promised me that not only was it from her, but that she had asked him to proofread it. Somehow, my friends had shared my plans, it had gotten back to Hannah, and she had not only rejected me before I asked her out, but the entire school knew of it before I did.

At swim practice that day, my teammates teased me about "hammering Hannah."  To top things off, at the end of freshman year, Hannah left, never to return to our school. I still have no idea why.  I spent the next few years keeping my crushes to myself.

And there were a lot of crushes.  Girls who I ran or swam with, girls who I was friends with, even my two best male friends I developed crushes on.  By the beginning of senior year, I had come to terms with the fact that I would never date anyone during high school, nor did it seem like a good time to come out as bi.

Of course, all of that changed the moment I met her...


*Note: no real names are used in this blog.  Every name mentioned is a randomly chosen pseudonym.

Hello World

There was a blog I read the spring of my senior year of high school.
It was called "Hyper Sexed History Nerd," and its author, Josh, was a gay kid in his freshman year of college.  He used the blog to detail his sexual adventures, funny stories, and personal struggles with romance through his freshman year of college.  Unfortunately, at the start of his sophomore year, he found out that people he knew in real life recognized him as the author of his blog, and ultimately determined that it would be better to stop writing and to delete what he had written.

I am not as good a writer as Josh.  My stories aren't as exciting, or as adventurous, or as poignant as his were.  But I am a sophomore in college, I'm bi, and I do have stories to share.

These stories will be filled with sex (most of it gay), with awkward moments, and with all the little weird moments that make life pleasant.  Hopefully, dear reader, you will grow to enjoy them almost as much as I do.