How To Fuck Up Hitting On People

Earlier this evening, I was working on math homework when I decided to check out A4A.  There was  a cute guy on there who seemed like he might be sane, close by, and my type (the hookup trifecta right there), so I wen with my patented pick up line.  What follows after the jump is the transcript of that wonderful train wreck of a conversation.

You think my actual username is Jack?