That said, as way of apology, have this boy:
 |
| Unapologetically stolen from this tumblr. |
I met Kevin the summer I turned 16. We spent the summer interning together doing robotics research. At the time, he was pony tail, goatee, and black shirt wearing part time hacker, full time nerd. We got along well that summer and stayed in touch after the summer was over, largely because we shared a mutual interest in robotics. After high school, he went to a college in my hometown for a year before transferring to a college in the town where I go to school. Conveniently enough, the house he and his roommates rented was actually closer to my college than to his, so we spent time hanging out during the brief periods when we were both free.
One fine November day, we were talking on Facebook chat about life, the universe, and everything where he brought up that ever since he broke up with his girlfriend, he's been tempted to experiment with his sexuality. I paused, then asked "are you making a pass at me?"
To read more of this fascinating tale, follow the jump:
He awkwardly admitted that he did, and conversation turned to lighter things, like making fun of emo kids, before turning back to gay sex.
Me: here's my question: why'd you make a pass at me? I'm curious
Kevin:haha
good question
I dunno... I'm kinda bored... [college] is lacking in fuckable people of any gender. The ones that are fuckable express disdain for anyone who shows interest in them...
Me: and I'm fuckable?
Kevin: aand yeah... up until this point there have been family issues that took center, left, and right stage and really detracted from anything beyond the 2nd layer of maslow's hierarchy
shrug I think within my league.
Me: haha fair point
Kevin: I mean... I look in the mirror and go "I wouldn't fuck me..."
Me: well, I'm up for it as long as there's no residual awkwardness
Kevin: I was going to stipulate the same condition
no pun intended... but lets get this straight... I'm just looking to experiment a bit and I know that you're not (too much of) a whore...
Me: I'm actually pretty much a whore at this point
but continue
Kevin: ahahahahahahah
more important question: can you confirm that you are, in fact, free from any nasty communicable diseases?
Me:just got my HIV test back today
it is negative
I've had mono in the apst
*past
but, so have 90% of other adults
Kevin:hah
I have not...
Me:and I'm free of anything else
Kevin: very good.
if you are genuinely interested, both of my roommates should be gone friday evening
gone for thanksgiving, that is.
Me: hmmmm... any earlier than that a possibility?
Kevin: if you can clear out your dorm room...
Me: nope
Kevin: dammit
Me: see, friday will work
but, saturday night, I'm sleeping with the-guy-who-gives-me-money
Kevin: ahhhh
Me: yes
Kevin: hrm
Me: and I have the distinct impression that given you and me, alcohol might be involved friday
Kevin: ahaha
I have some light beer... and thats it...
Me: well, in that case alcohol might not be involved
Kevin: hahah
yeah... it's not that good...
horrible one might say
Me: I'd say it: light beer is shit
Kevin: yeah
I asked my friend for "normal beer... something lighter than lager... but not light beer"
and he gets me light beer -.-
Me: the other that comes to mind: physically, you don't match what I usually find attractive in a guy
not that you're unattractive, you are a good looking guy
Kevin: haha but you go for the more... darrylish... guys.
Note: Darryl is gay friend of Kevin's who Kevin went to college with freshman year. Generally referred to as "Father Fabulous," he is emo as all fuck, wonderfully gay, and ridiculously twinky. He has a smooth thin body which he keeps meticulously free of hair, except for the hair on his head which he dyes a different color every month.
As I pointed out to Kevin:
Me: haha
see, I find faggy girly guys attractive
which has caused some of my friends to joke
Kevin: hahahahah
I find them sexually repulsive
Me: that I'm not actually bi, just horny
Kevin: bahaha
At this point the conversation wheeled towards talking about gay friends of Kevin and ranking them by how good they looked. Kevin expressed his interest in the masculine ones, while I expressed my interest in the boyish, twinky ones.
Kevin: you see... I like my women like I like my men... quite blatently the gender they're supposed to be, but not to the point of characteization.
Me: see, I like my women with the right set of curves
and my boys like the thin women I don't like
Kevin: rofl
so yeah.. that whole concept of you liking smooth twinks...
... not me. lol
Me: see, body hair in general is sort of turn off for me
Kevin: understandable... I just go au naturale because it's so much easier... but aesthetically it's shit
Me: Yeah, I do the same
I don't actually hold myself to the same standard that I demand of others
After that, we continued talking about Kevin's friends, took a couple cheap shots at Kevin's mother, and then wished each other good night.
On Friday night, November 19th, I went over to Kevin's house. He offered me a variety of drugs, all of which I declined and none of which he took part in. After we retired to his room, and he took off his shirt, I immediately regretted not being on something.
You see, Kevin has never been athletic. And I as mentioned earlier, I don't have a great body, but years of consistent sports and working out has left it pretty tone. Kevin doesn't have a tone body. In fact, he had a surprising case of man boobs and a hairy chest. It was horrifying. I had been expecting maybe a bit of chest hair, and maybe not a well defined chest, but at least a thin chest.
I did the only thing I could think of. I blindfolded myself with my shirt. We 69'ed, wherein I learned he was uncut and he learned that I had a massive cock. After that, I fucked him with a butt plug while jacking him off. He came rather well, and seemed to enjoy himself. We then got dressed, grabbed pizza, and resolved that we would never, ever do that again with each other.
"That was pretty awkward"
"oh god, yes"
"yeahhhh"
As a further note, the pizza was terrible.
However, the evening wasn't a complete loss. I arrived home to find that Darryl messaged me, saying "sooo... I heard you have a huge cock..."
We then spent the wee hours of the morning skyping with each other. By which I mean, lying naked in our respective beds jacking off on cam with each other.
The moral of the story? Fuck if I know.
No comments:
Post a Comment