The Master/Slave Relationship

I'm back in the US now, after fucking my way across Europe.  Paris had the best twinks, Amsterdam had the best orgies, Capri was gorgeous in August and the Alps were amazing a week ago.

Jamie is in my apartment in upstate NY, I'm still at my parents' home packing everything up.
As a recap, Jamie is the sub bottom who I fucked over the summer and then invited to be my slave boy when I return to school. He accepted, and so on Monday I sat down and decided to write up my thoughts on how the relationship will work.  Read it after the jump.


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The Master/Slave Relationship

January 7, 2012

Preface

In less than a week, I return to Rochester.  When I return, I am moving in with Jamie, who has agreed to be my slave and I have agreed to be his master.  Since the basis of any strong and lasting relationship is honesty and open communication, I decided I should take a few minutes to sit down and outline my philosophical and practical expectations of this relationship and how I see it working.

The Power-Exchange

            The heart of this relationship is the power exchange.  In most vanilla relationships, two equal partners come together and reach a series of compromises on daily life. In such a relationship, each decision is either mutually made or at least mutually agreed upon after the fact.  The presumption is both parties are equal.

            In a dominant/submissive relationship, only one compromise is made when both partners are equal. That compromise is that they are not equal.  The submissive is the complete inferior of the dominant.  The dominant is expected to make most of the decisions, and the final say in all matters reverts to him.

            The appeal of such a relationship differs between the dominant and the submissive.  The dominant gets the satisfaction of being in control, the psychological and sexual thrill of owning and controlling another human being.  The submissive, on the other hand, craves discipline and order. There is a certain comfort for the submissive in having his decisions made for him by another person, in having his whims and desires subjected to the desires of another, in short, in being owned.

            With this power exchange comes a certain level of responsibility.  The dominant must avoid making decisions that either endanger or are pointlessly unpleasant  for the submissive (unpleasant for sexual reasons is, of course, expected and encouraged).  The responsibility of the submissive is to follow his master’s commands as much as possible.  If the submissive repeatedly disobeys the master,  then the power exchange falls apart.  The power exchange only works while both participants agree to it.

In the words of a rather good BDSM fanfic I read five or so years ago, the dominant’s creed is “You are mine to own, mine to punish, mine to love”

Scheduling

Philosophical musings aside, there is a practical day to day life to plan for.

I have the following obligations, in rough order of importance:

-My Senior Economics Thesis (this is the single most important thing I have to do this semester, everything else is beneath this)

-The three other classes I’m taking

-Applying to grad school (GREs, etc)

-Rugby, weightlifting, training for a triathlon, various physical activity stuff

-various social obligations

To keep myself organized, I’m going to have a mac/google calendar with my day to day schedule on it.  I intend to follow it.

I expect Jamie to keep a schedule as well (though probably not as intensive as mine).

I do have the following duties in mind for Jamie:

Cooking – I expect Jamie to plan, prepare, and cook several meals a week.  We’ll sit down and discuss the upcoming week’s menu every weekend or so, and might go grocery shopping together, but to a large extent I will remain uninvolved.

Dishes  - are to either be done immediately after a meal or place in the dishwasher immediately after the meal (if we have a dishwasher, I don’t remember).  I will help out with this, but it’s ultimately Jamie’s responsibility.

Cleaning – our apartment has four rooms.  I expect them all to be kept tidy and organized.  Each one of them will have a specific day each week when it gets thoroughly cleaned. Again, this is Jamie’s responsibility but I will be willing to help out.

Laundry – again, Jamie’s responsibility, I will be willing to help out.

Schedule – Jamie will have access to my schedule, and I will help him plan out his.  I expect him to help us both follow our respective schedules. (ideally, by reminding what I’m supposed to be doing at any given time).

Failure by Jamie to do any of these will result in punishment, detailed below in the section “Punishment.”

Finances

Our finances are to be kept separate.  Also, I will keep a budget of my finances, I expect and hope Jamie will do the same.  I will help him do so if he wants, but I will not give him orders on what to do with his money.

I expect Jamie to either work or be in school while in this relationship.  I know he wants to work. I would prefer him to be in school, but as long as he is doing something productive with his time and is happy, I will be happy.

Rent, utilities and internet are to be split straight down the middle.

House furnishings are to be largely paid for by me, ideally as soon as possible so that we’re not living on hardwood floors.

It would be unfair to split food 50/50, as I tend to eat a lot. I figure we’ll try to split it by portion consumed, but will probably settle on 2:1 or 3:1 food budget ratio.

Gifts from one party to another have nothing to do with this budget and won’t be counted.

Sex

I want to fuck Jamie. Roughly, violently, all the time.  Jamie may pick one bracelet, which while he wears it he may refuse my sexual advances. Otherwise, I’m free to rape him wherever and whenever I want.

We both enjoy threesomes and group sex. Like everything else, I get the final say in any additional guy we bring in for fun.

This will be an open relationship.  Both parties can fuck whoever they want, so long as they are open and honest with each other about who they’re fucking and as long as they play safe with other people (condoms; regular testing).  That said, every night we sleep together in one bed, either at our place or at somebody else’s, either by ourselves or with a third or a fourth nestled up against us.

Video Games

Video games are awesome. I love them (though I never have time to play them).   I know Jamie loves them too. If I have to though, I will drag him away from the computer/video game system. And then probably fuck him.

Physical Exercise

I play rugby, I run, I swim, I bike, I lift.  I don’t expect Jamie to do this. But I do expect him to do some sort of exercise.  If he doesn’t choose something, I will for him. It will probably be yoga.

Punishment

Failure to comply with any of this, or really just for my own amusement, is grounds for punishment. Punishment is limited solely to my imagination, I just promise that none of it will be permanently physically damaging.

Termination of this relationship

This relationship may end at any time due to the desires or wishes of one or both parties.  At this point, Jamie will move out.   I promise not to be a dick about it, but just so we have this in writing somewhere, if the shit hits the ceiling fan and I say get out, Jamie has two weeks to get out.