Body Image

I'm in damn good shape.

I'm 19, 180 lbs (it varies between 177 and 183 lbs), 6'1.  I play rugby, I swim 50 laps in the morning a couple times a week, I run 5 miles in 40 minutes other mornings, I don't look half bad with my shirt off.

But: I don't keep track of what I eat, I don't know how much body fat I have, I don't have a distinctive six pack. I look absolutely nothing like Marky Mark.

Mark Wahlberg used to be a male model. What the hell.

I'm fine with that. I have a healthy body image, but damnit, I want more.



Now, I haven't had any complaints from any of the guys I've slept with at this point, and the few times I bother to look at myself in the mirror, I think I look good. Frankly, I want another 20 lbs of muscle. And not because I think it will make me look better.  I want 20 extra lbs of muscle because in rugby, a flanker who weighs 180 can hit pretty hard, but a flanker who weighs 200 can knock a poor bastard into next week.

The downside is that between my high metabolism, the running and swimming I do, and the fact that I don't lift enough, putting on weight of any kind is a struggle.

On the bright side, at least I'm not some poor vain bastard who's terrified about how he looks.  For that, you'd have to go see Alex.  For those of you with good memories (or who bother to click links), Alex was the first boy I slept with.  He was, and remains, fucking hot.  He also, despite being fucking hot (or perhaps because of it), is a vain bastard with a bad view of his own body.

The result has been that he started a blog a while back about him being a gym rat, describing in useless, boring detail his workout routines, what he eats, and his sadness about not being hotter, including pictures of Marky Mark (like the one below) with the plaintive complaint, "Why can't I look like him?"

Before he was a model, he was a rapper?  huh.

The fantastic upshot of this: he's posted a good three dozen pictures of him half naked on it so far. I may be a creep for reading his blog solely to see his mostly naked body, but it's his damn fault for posting them on the internet.  And admittedly, he does have a nice body.

What I've decided to do is put together a fitness regime. I've talked with the guy on my rugby team who clearly knows the most about working out and asked him to help me put together a workout schedule that will help me put on mass and strength.  And who knows, maybe I'll end resembling Mark Wahlberg?

Yeah... never mind.